If you haven’t already clicked on the link “About THIS Crazy Asian Mom”, do so, and you’ll get a bit of a better insight as to who I am and what my values are.
I have considered a blog for a couple of years now, but never executed on it because I had at least one child under the age of five, and THOSE years are crazy all by itself. However, even then, as I posted little notes on Facebook about my journey as a first time mom, then a second time mom, then a mom of boys, and then just life itself, I often got people who would private message me on Facebook and ask for advice, or share their story with me. Now, I have an almost five year old and an eight and a half year old, so life seems to have hit some calmer waters.
I found myself, in the early years of parenthood, reading other “mom blogs” or laughing empathetically at another parent’s post, while I nodded in complete understanding. I realized that when you have young children, it is a battlefield. It is exhausting. Don’t get me wrong…it is rewarding and beautiful and life changing as well. BUT…there are definitely many moments where you just need a good laugh, or an encouraging word, or just to know that you aren’t alone in the things you are afraid of for your kids, the moments where you think you are a terrible parent, and most importantly, when you feel the weight of responsibility in raising these precious little people that God has entrusted to your family.
The picture above is of a Japanese Onsen that I visited with my two aunts in the Fall of 2017. If you are unfamiliar with a Japanese Onsen, it is a public bath house that is separated into a women’s section and then a men’s bath house in a different private section. When I visited, I was “pleasantly plump”, always being a little top heavy, but over the years evened myself out into being top, middle and bottom heavy! Well, to my surprise, when we got to the resort we would be staying at for the next week, there was no shower in the rooms. Everyone went to the public bath houses to shower and then sit in the hot pools…naked. That’s right. NAKED. You showered in front of everyone at one of those little stations…with a little bucket and a little stool, and then you sit in the pools together…naked. I was horrified. I felt completely exposed, as all the tiny Japanese ladies stared at me as though I had taken two Japanese ladies and sewn them together to make one of me…and then tried to look away, as though if I made direct eye contact, I may be tempted to have a “Godzilla moment” and destroy them all. I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach as I made my way into the waters while older ladies would scoot slowly away, as though I would cause a tsunami upon my entry and drown them all. Oh, I forgot to mention, you do not take towels in there with you. You get to take a little face cloth that is slightly bigger than your hand. Let me tell you ladies, it doesn’t go very far in regards to covering up…anything.
The first two days I went to the Onsens, I wished for the sweet release of death. I could not remember another time that I felt more humiliated, insecure, exposed and uncomfortable. But by the third day and the rest of the week, I realized that it was what it was. There was nothing I could do in that moment to make me a size 2 or 0, which all the other ladies seem to be. I needed to shower, and when I got over the public nakedness and body shaming, the hot pools felt heavenly and the scenery was beautiful. It was about the 5th day that I was soaking in those waters, that I closed my eyes, and spent some time in prayer. I had a revelation during those minutes as I conversed with Jesus in my heart. He showed me that this is similar to my journey as a mother.
We will all do it so differently. Our children are different from others, and even different from their siblings. There are moments where parenthood makes us uncomfortable. Our children’s behavior will make us cringe sometimes. We will feel exposed as mothers and as wives. We will feel that we aren’t as “good as those other moms”. We will have moments where we feel like we are barely keeping it together when everyone else seems to live that Instagram life, Pinteresting the poop outta those crafts and snacks when we’re making KD for the third day in a row and gave up washing fruit for the day before serving it to the kids. No matter what is going on in our own family, it is hard not to look around and compare ourselves to the family over there.
But ladies, when we remember that God has made us all so unique, that we all have different strengths to bring to the table, that not only are our children fearfully and wonderfully made….but we are too, that God has equipped us, blessed us and empowered us to be AMAZING moms, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks and does, we can rest in our own skins and OWN this amazing privilege of being “MOM”.
So in my decision to start a blog, I hope that other parents find some of my posts an encouragement. If not an encouragement, a chuckle in their day. If not a chuckle, then some good bathroom reading. If not any of that, at the very least, I plan to compile all my articles into a little book for my future daughter in laws when they tell me they are pregnant with my first grandchildren…and then I will laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Just kidding. That would be mean. I will laugh privately, in my bedroom, with my husband as we are planning our trip as a retired couple to Tahiti…and buy them an espresso machine for the sleepless nights ahead…like every good mother in law would do.
“Be yourself. An original is worth more than a copy.” – Unknown
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